Last Will and Testament

April 1, 1997

Jules Castlebury, Third Earl of Dinglebury-Hampfordshire

To my darling wife, I leave my faithful dog Argos

To my nephew Hubert, I leave my valued spoon collection

To Cyril, my butler, I leave my extensive library

To Argos, I leave £5 million

To my assistant, Miss V. Vixen, I leave the remainder of my estate

J---

Of course I'll wait…forever if I must. My heart is yours.

By the way, I'm running a tad short this month.

And Cap d' is très cher, my darling.—VV

Edna's Diary

April 5, 1997

Dear Diary,

Sigh, Jules has disappeared

with that trollop again.

He'll be back shortly, I'm

sure. Lipstick on his collar.

I don't know how much

more of this I can take.